Feminists Decide Men Are “Pretty OK After All”


The Feminist Movement decides that if they are fighting for marriage equality they might as well stop hating men too.

The Feminist Movement decides that if they are fighting for marriage equality they might as well stop hating men too.

 

For decades now women have been struggling to gain equal civil, political, and economic footing with their male contemporaries. The movement was called Feminism; a term that covered both the quiet-yet-determined women struggling day after day to make everything a little bit better for the girls who would follow in their footsteps as well as the outspoken and sometimes extreme rabble-rousers actively at war with The Patriarchy. As a result “Feminism” has become synonymous with this campaign of man-hating, fem-centric, boot wearing female rage.

Until today.

Today, the Women Actively Fighting For Legitimate Equality (W.A.F.F.L.E), the strategic planning board for the Feminist movement, decided unilaterally that man-hating would no longer be considered a productive or useful tool towards gender equality.

“Men are pretty OK.” Says spokeswoman April F. “Sure they’ve had the power for so long that they’ve forgotten what it means to have to share it but really they’re not bad people.”

When asked about what prompted the decision to move towards a less antagonistic stance towards the menfolk she responded:

“It’s a lot of work to stay that mad all the time. We decided that it is unproductive to put all our energy into being mad at men when we could be using that same energy to effect real social change. It’s time for women to stop treating men like the enemy; we’re all on the same side here.”

Backlash within the feminist community has been swift and vicious, and April H. and the W.A.F.F.L.E team have become the victims of many sidelong glares and muttered insults; particularly in the lunch room and hallways.

“Oh. My. God, Gertrude- look at her shoes.” Vents one dedicated anti-men feminist arrayed in flannel and blue jeans after watching the spokeswoman give this statement. “Doesn’t she know that high heels are the tools of The Patriarchy to oppress women by giving them longer looking legs and a perkier butt? This is bullsh- I mean mareshit.”

When asked about her opinion of the new direction of Feminism the woman in question, Dolores, had this to say:

“I’ve hated men my whole life, I’m not going to stop now just ‘cuz some board tells me to. Sure they invented things like penicillin and birth control pills but they’re still monsters driven by their horomones to be overbearing, controlling, and angry All. The. Time.”

“I think this is a good change” argues her companion Gertrude. “I like men in general- I mean, there are some jerks but there are always jerks right? I’ve always felt a little guilty calling myself a “feminist” when I love my husband so much: I mean, I make his lunches, but he put me through graduate school so it’s not like it’s unfair. And he does stuff that I don’t like doing like sorting out the plumbing or changing the spark plugs in the car. I’m glad I can stop hating men now.”

Clearly these new changes herald a great deal of conversation both within the Feminist community as well as in the wider world, but perhaps this will be the sign of better things to come.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on April 1, 2013.

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