Quiver


Soothing thoughts... like being on a beach.... and not lying here awake and unable to sleep...

Soothing thoughts… like being on a beach…. and not lying here awake and unable to sleep…

When I sit very still- or when I lie down and try to go to sleep- I find myself quivering.

It seems to be an involuntary thing. Mostly it seems to be happening in my calves. It is too subtle to see if you were to look at them, but it makes it very hard to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling rested. This morning I went back to bed after seeing my husband out the door because I was so tired it was making me grumpy, but I ended up lying in bed wondering if we were having a small earthquake because the mattress seemed to be jiggling.

I looked it up on the internet, but this was no help at all. If you search for “muscles quivering” Google assumes you must be asking about “muscles twitching” which is not at all the same thing. I’ve had the annoying muscle twitches in my eyelids, back, chest, legs, and beside my nose (not all at the same time- that would be annoying) so I know how a muscle twitch feels.

This feels different. This feels like each cell in my muscles are vibrating slightly as if powered by the energy of the sun. This feels like if you held a tuning fork against me I could play you a song. I wish I could say that it made me feel like I was full of vim and vigor during the day, but mostly it seems to happen at night when I would much rather be full of Z’s.

On top of that the Internet also tells me that I am either suffering from something dire like ALS or Fibromyalgia or else it is nothing to worry about and that I should take vitamins. Or I might be pregnant.  I’m pretty sure they put the “you might be pregnant” disclaimer on every single symptom and for every single possible condition up to, and possibly including, erectile dysfunction and an enlarged prostate.

Evidently in our age of modern medicine all bets are off once you become pregnant.

So I am left with sleepless nights and gnarly dreams and not a whole lot that I can do about it.

I apologize if I am grumpy.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on April 10, 2013.

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