Women Apparently Shouldn’t Run- Who Knew?

So I happened across this article that a friend had reposted on Facebook entitled “Why Women Should Not Run“. You can read it yourself if you want, but here’s what this article thinks you really need to know:

Running won’t make you skinny.

I had no idea. So that is what I’ve been doing wrong all these years: silly little me thinking that regular cardiovascular exercise was good for my overall health and well being, supporting good emotional balance, a healthy normal weight, and offering me a daily challenge to push my own physical limits.

I was supposed to be running to make myself skinny, duh! What was I thinking?

I’ve also been wasting all that time trying to maintain a balanced and varied diet with equally moderate parts leafy greens, fats, carbs, and proteins when I could’ve just gone with the old standby of lemon water and celery once every other day. Because I’m only trying to eat healthy so that it will make me skinny, right?

Oh and all this time I have been trying to develop a unique and personal sense of style based on drama, comfort, practicality, and over-all elegance when I could’ve just spanxed my body into whatever the newest skinny jean-legging-jegging-miniskirt-crop top hell is in right now. Because that’s the only reason to wear clothes, right? To show off how skinny I am?

Oops. Got it wrong again.

I may look mild mannered, but I live a dangerous life, baby. Oh yeah: I go running every day (okĀ almostĀ  every day) and I don’t even do it to make myself skinny. Yeah, you heard me: I go running cuz I like it, yo.

Know what else? I eat red meat. Rare. From the grocery store. That’s right: I don’t even source my own organic grass-fed beef and cook it until well done. Cuz I’m just a stupendous badass like that. I have even been known to indulge in *gasp* complex carbohydrates sometimes! Beer. Chocolate. Refined semolina pasta. And I don’t even count calories. I might eat up to 2000 of them in a day!

Bad girl.

Christ on a cracker- no wonder no one wants to be a good girl anymore.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on April 21, 2013.

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