My Apologies

Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull...

Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull…

I feel like I ought to apologize for my posting of late as it hasn’t been my best work.

Yesterday I decided to make a hard copy of all the blogs that I’ve written since the beginning of the year. There is a part of me that feels compelled to archive my work in physical form *just in case* something were to happen and all my digital records were to be lost. It is not a completely rational impulse, but there doesn’t seem to be much harm in humoring it so every few months I try to print out my writing and file it away into storage.

So yesterday I was archiving old blogs and I found myself wondering whether I had actually written anything worth saving. Would anyone care that I had suffered from a sleepless night? Will future generations care about my cats? Probably not, I decided.

It is one thing to write 120 pages of nonsense in a journal which may or may not ever see the light of day again because journalling is something one does for one’s own edification. Blogging, however, is done for an audience: in my case a fairly modest audience, but an audience nonetheless. I happen to believe that if I expect anyone to read my work that I ought to be producing work worth reading. And lately I have not been accomplishing this.

I realize that the creative process requires a certain cycle of creativity, inspiration, production, rest, frustration, and research. Right now I am firmly planted in “frustration”. I feel like I have been locked out of a wonderful laboratory where exciting and meaningful work is being done. I have been trying so hard to get inside that my face is pressed up against the door, but I can’t make it budge.

So the bottom line is that I’m sorry the past few days (weeks?) haven’t been very interesting: you deserve better.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on May 2, 2013.

One Response to “My Apologies”

  1. I started blogging to document my training, thoughts and progress. A little personal indulgence if you will. And I wasn’t doing very well at keeping up with my journal. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it being for an audience, but good point! 🙂

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