Facebook: The Great Arachne

I mean, c'mon- how else would I have found out about wearable sculptures that force the wearer into certain poses?

I mean, c’mon- how else would I have found out about wearable sculptures that force the wearer into certain poses?

Facebook has gotten to be a problem.

For me personally, that is. I’m not talking about the impact of Facebook on society at large which I am sure is also pretty notable. For me Facebook is the computer equivalent of opening the refrigerator door to see if there is anything worth eating: I stare at the contents blankly for longer than is healthy before peeling myself away frustrated and unsatisfied- which only causes me to go back and try again.

I’m not sure what it is I hope to find on Facebook: inspiration, maybe? Humor? Satisfaction of my morbid curiosity? Whatever it is I never find it. I am a wanderer with no destination swept up in a carnival parade of color and noise with no real meaning and lots of momentum. I occasionally break free of the parade-route but I always seem to find myself drawn back to it.

The problem, I have discovered, isn’t with Facebook itself: I can sweep through status updated with a flick of the eye and a spin of the scroll-wheel. The problem is that at every turn Facebook offers me dozens of other diversions. Links to webcomics. Short viral videos. Opinion columns. Blog updates. Hi-LAIR-ious rants on both sides of the political fence. The problem is that Facebook is the spider that spins all these delightfully distracting threads into an easy-to-access web. Facebook is the Google of things you didn’t know you were looking for.

It is easy to dismiss this as a problem of self-control: that if I could just limit my trips to the proverbial refrigerator I could lose my mental muffin-top. But I enjoy it. I like feasting on useless knowledge and empty information. It makes me feel good. So I moderate my indulgence: three times a day and logging out in between.

Logging out is the key. If I log out then my visits have to be on purpose- not just as the whim takes me. Logging out is also surprisingly difficult both to remember and to actually accomplish since the words “Log Out” do not appear on one’s Facebook profile without clicking on the correct, unlabeled, drop-down menu.

The great spider doesn’t want anything escaping from the web by accident.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on May 7, 2013.

2 Responses to “Facebook: The Great Arachne”

  1. Great post! On another note, I love reading all your posts! I nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award. (I am just getting to notifying people, sorry it took so long!) Well deserved! 🙂

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