Kicking Caffeine (Again)


Don't look at me like that- It's not you it's me.

Don’t look at me like that- It’s not you it’s me.

Considering the persistence of my recent sleeplessness I decided it was time to turn to my last resort and kick caffeine. Again.

I know altogether too much about caffeine. I know that plants produce it as a form of natural pesticide and that if you were to brush a spider with caffeine it would lose the ability to spin a normal web. I know that it isn’t actually a stimulant, like cocaine, that causes your body to create more energy but rather is a chemical that prevents your body from getting the signal that it is feeling tired. And I know that it takes ten days of no-caffeine for your body to kick it’s dependence on the substance.

Ten long days.

Friday was day one and was filled with wall-to-wall headache. Yesterday was day two and was filled with wall-to-wall crankiness. Today has been filled with wall-to-wall lack-of-focus. Alas, this blog will be no exception.

I have been told that the next time I decide to kick the habit it Will Not Happen starting on a weekend.

I’m a little bit frustrated that I need to put myself through this at all since I don’t really think that two cups of coffee in a day should wind me up so badly that I can’t sleep. It is probably something to do with hormones that was conveniently left out of The Chat we were given in fourth grade.

Being a woman is like playing a board game where the rules are different every single day.

Needless to say I was not terribly useful or productive for most of the day for the past few days. Yesterday my husband had a grand plan of making homemade pasta which sounded like fun, but also sounded like a lot of work. I wanted to be helpful, but it seemed like no matter what I did I was doing it wrong and I kept getting more and more frustrated until I was no longer helping and instead just getting in the way. It was a relief to finally be banished from the kitchen and told to just go read my book.

The pasta was actually a big success, for which I take no credit. My only claim to productivity was finishing all my library books in time to return them before their due date which is, for me, actually a pretty big deal.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on May 19, 2013.

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