Challenge 2: The Curmudgeonly Lion

The Curmudgeonly Lion: noble, honest, loyal, and doesn't like Kids On The Lawn

The Curmudgeonly Lion: noble, honest, loyal, and doesn’t like Kids On The Lawn

Well I should have written this post earlier today but I was in no mind to write during the morning (another poor night’s sleep had left me in a testy mood) and by the afternoon the studio had become so oppressively hot that I couldn’t think. So I’m resorting to my 30 Day challenge and going with:

Challenge #2: Discuss Your Current Relationship

Relationships are an especially tricky topic. For one thing they are a private matter and for another thing they involve the privacy of another person, so this may not be the kind of juicy behind-the-scenes tell all that the challenge itself might suggest.

I’m married, of course, and I write about “my husband” with an alarming degree of regularity (alarming for someone like me who worries about putting personal information out on the internet for All Time). For privacy’s sake I avoid using his proper name but it is going to get tedious REAL fast if this whole post is “my husband” this and “my husband” that, so I’m going to take a cue from Jeffrey Eugenides and just call him The Curmudgeonly Lion.

The Curmudgeonly Lion and myself ┬áhave only been married a handful of years, but we seem to be getting the hang of this “married” business. It took longer to get used to than I anticipated- being married, that is.

Right after our wedding I moved out of my own two bedroom apartment and into his one bedroom condo. Maybe for a normal couple this wouldn’t be an issue, but for an Introvert like me who needs lots of personal territory and alone time it was not a recipe for domestic serenity. We had two households’ worth of stuff squeezed into one condo and a storage unit so much of our early marriage felt like it was either in chaos or in mothballs. We both worked, which was fine, but it made me doubly resentful of doing chores at home as well: doing dishes and laundry and housekeeping felt like work-on-top-of-work and there were more than a few moments when my resentment got the better of me. And we both had families in the area with whom we were expected to spend quality time with. As The Couple With No Kids there was an unspoken expectation that we didn’t have anything better to do than to say yes to invitations to sporting events and children’s birthday parties.

We eventually solved all of these problems with the simple expedient of moving 2000 miles across the country. I decided to pursue graduate school and The Curmudgeonly Lion, bless his heart, agreed to uproot to allow me to do so. It gave us a level playing field to build on and that has made all the difference. Instead of a constant power-and-territory struggle we are now much more of a team pulling together.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on June 26, 2013.

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