A Curious Lack of Focus

Random yet not random perhaps?

Random yet not random perhaps?

It’s amazing to me that it is only a few days away from the middle of July already. Where the hell did this month go already?

The past couple of weeks have certainly been eventful between national holidays, birthdays, screenings, filmmaker industry mixers and having family in town for a visit. Because of all these events it also feels like it has been a pretty productive month so far- and yet I seem to be suffering from a curious lack of focus. For example I seem to be able to find and commit to big social events but I can’t get the dishes done. I can clean the whole house but I can’t seem to finish writing a letter. It’s very strange.

It is interesting to me how my mindset seems to be tied to the calendar: one month I will have thirty days of good solid productivity on all fronts. The next month I will have thirty days of absolute frustration. The next month I will be a social butterfly for weeks on end. The next month I will barely be able to drag myself out to the grocery store. Does this happen to other people? I realize that it is normal to go through phases of productivity, sociability, focus, and frustration, but is it normal to be so exact and noticeable from month to month?

When unexplainable mindset changes happen like this it makes it very easy to understand why people love horoscopes so much. Certainly my productivity must have something to do with Saturn giving way to Jupiter and my inattention to detail is because something else is in retrograde… it’s as good of an excuse as any.

I don’t really mind the month-to-month variation except that I never know what to expect so it makes it tricky to set the right kinds of goals. At the beginning of this month it took me three days just to get around to writing my goal list! It is almost like the exact opposite of procrastination: I am only able to work on the broad strokes without dedicating much time to clutter, dirty dishes, and other details. Perhaps that is why this seems so strange: as an inveterate procrastinator I am in new and uncharted territory.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 12, 2013.

3 Responses to “A Curious Lack of Focus”

  1. Hi! I nominated you for the ABC Award. Please get the badge at http://wp.me/s32YrK-zest and get more info. Keep blogging!

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