All The Rage

Duck and Cover Y'all.

Duck and Cover Y’all.

At the risk of getting too personal this post is about PMS so if you don’t want to read it, consider yourself warned.

One of the most bewildering parts of being a woman-beast is PMS. I’m sure PMS is pretty bewildering to men-beasts too, but for the most part men have the advantage of being able to distance themselves from it whereas women get to ride that bomb all the way to ground zero.

Imagine, if you will, being wired into a body that speaks a different language from your brain- lets pretend that they don’t even share a root language like Swedish and Algonquin. Imagine that this body is swollen, clumsy, painful, and has the social volatility of an insulted mafioso. Now try to negotiate with this body to perform basic everyday tasks over an intermittent wireless signal and you’ll have some idea of what it is like to function during PMS. ┬áThe reason why women cry during PMS for no good reason is because they are frustrated that they can’t do basic fucking tasks and the harder they try to do them the less they are able to accomplish.

For me this manifests as fits of rage and lots of swearing. It’s a control issue: wake up in a body that changes shape and temperament every day and suddenly control becomes of the utmost importance. The less control I have over my body the more control I seek out in the rest of my life. The less control I have the exponentially greater the emotional fallout. In the form of rage and swearing. In other words: the more stupid the obstacle the angrier I get: the printer jams and I FREAK OUT (It’s just a printer jamIT’SNOTJUSTAPRINTERJAM!!!!). The university gouges me $8 unexpectedly and I LITERALLY SEE RED AND HAVE TO LIE DOWN (It’s just $8 IT’STHEPRINCIPLEOFTHETHINGAAAARGHHHHHHHHH).

I mean, not that this happened today or anything.

The closer I come to emotional meltdown the closer my social skills approach zero. I stop letting my face show any emotion. I participate in conversations with only half an ear. I avoid eye contact. If I’m at home I close all the blinds. The Introvert in me retreats to the safest mental and emotional space that I can find to wait for the storm to blow over- because that’s really all I can do anyway.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 29, 2013.

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