Last Rest of the First Day of My Life


Thing sooooothing thoughts... like urban planning...

Think sooooothing thoughts…

How’s that for an awkwardly worded title?

I suppose it wouldn’t be too melodramatic to call tomorrow the First Day of The Rest Of My Life since once I start classes it will be a major change to my current reality. But if tomorrow is “The Rest Of” my life then what does that make today? The First Of My Life? And since today is the last day that I get to rest then… well… you see my thought process.

Unlike Thursday night, when I was struggling to keep my heart from leaping out of my chest like Archimedes from a bathtub, I am actually feeling pretty good right now: calm, prepared, and confident. This is a good way to be feeling considering that tomorrow my first class begins at 9am and my last class finishes at 10pm.  Yup. Thirteen hours of lecture.

I do like a challenge.

I am hyperbolating a little bit: while I do have class for thirteen hours on Monday the rest of my week is much more manageable (a mere four to six hours spent in lecture). But the point is the same: it is going to be a complete lifestyle overhaul.

Even when I’m prepared for it, change is stressful. My default mode is to be a contingency planner and the less I know about what I will be going into the more contingencies I run through my mind: what if the work load is too much? What if I don’t have any good ideas for films? What if I don’t get along with someone in my class? What if I run out of money? What if I run out of time? What if I don’t pack enough to eat? What if the Student Loan bubble bursts and suddenly the entire higher education system implodes?

It doesn’t matter if these are likely contingencies, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to figure out what I would do if any of them happened. It might be a futile effort, but I’m going to make an effort to just let go of all my planning instincts and just assume that everything is going to be fine.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 25, 2013.

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