Ok, maybe I don't feel THIS exposed, but it's kinda similar...

Ok, maybe I don’t feel THIS exposed, but it’s kinda similar…

The long weekend is over. Sad words.

It didn’t feel like a long weekend, that’s for sure. It was productive and restful and my Introvert temperament felt indulged for the first time since… um… probably June? I napped. I ran. I read a little bit. I worked on some final projects for class. All in all it was very restful and productive.

The only problem with indulging my Introvert tendencies for a long weekend is it means that I get all comfortable with my bad introverted self and then have to plunge myself back into an extravert environment on Monday like a dousing of cold water. Mondays like this make me hate the fact that there are no dedicated work spaces in the film buildings. They are magnificent buildings: they look like some kind of spa retreat in Italy or Spain, complete with arches and fountains, but there is no place to actually work. For all those millions of dollars spent building these monuments to the motion picture industry there are no quiet, private little cubbyholes where I can retreat to work between classes.

It is a matter of exposure. Sometimes just the idea of having to be smilingly social with people- even people that I like- is hard work. It is especially hard work after a weekend of not having to do it. Criticisms feel especially critical. Answering a question feels less like a mistake and more like a failure. I find myself reading body language for signs of annoyance and hostility rather than for signs of approval and acceptance. I wear more warpaint makeup on Mondays after a long weekend. I wear a big, heavy sweater as protection: I’d rather be overheated than exposed. It takes most of a day for the feeling to wear off.

As the last day of classes, today is especially rough because it means that I am responsible for several final projects that are due today. I already turned in a final paper (multiple choice, open book- feel free to talk to your classmates… we all compared notes and nobody could agree on anything). In an hour or two I have a major final presentation for judges who will be coming in from outside the school to share their expertise. Then a meeting with a professor. Then another class.

On the positive side, once I make it through today the rest of the week will be a leisurely descent towards winter break and I can retreat back into my Introvert burrow for a few weeks.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 2, 2013.

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