Well, glad I got that organized.

Well, glad I got that organized.

I’ve had this post open and staring blankly at me for two days now so I feel compelled to not put it off any longer. That said, I don’t have anything specific in mind to write about. Sunday was another successful day of auditions which ended with me feeling so wrung out that I pretty much just came home and stared at the television for a while until it was time to go to bed. Yesterday was a day of running around making preparations for the upcoming Sony event that we will be starting tomorrow.

And today looks to be more of the same. More preparations, more dealing with casting. I’m looking forward to a meeting this afternoon with a casting director to find out how the pros go about finding their talent. There are all these layers of the film industry that get added on as the productions become bigger: casting directors, location managers, production managers, etc. Some day I might even get to find out what it is like to have a crew that goes to a location ahead of time to pre-set up the lights and electricity and so on.

Right now I’m still doing a lot of these things myself. This is a good thing because it means that I’m learning about all the different jobs on the set, but on the other hand it is also a lot of details to keep straight.

So the pressure is on and I’m beginning to feel it. So far I haven’t gotten overwhelmed and I am hoping that once the Sony event is done then it will relieve some of the burden on my mind since I won’t be trying to divide my focus anymore. I am also beginning to discover that the best antidote for anxiety is self assurance: that when I know I can handle something I am better able to talk myself out of a “spin up” (which is how it feels when I start to get anxious- like a wheel inside of me is beginning to spin really fast).

It’s not a perfect solution because “having self assurance” isn’t an active verb (in the acting world it would be called a “playable action”)- especially if you find yourself in a situation that you’ve never been in before or if there are a lot of variables that you can’t control. But I’m finding that the more practice that I have at a task the more I am willing to trust myself to be able to handle it.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 12, 2014.

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