So many feelings...

So many feelings…

At last- an afternoon in which to take a breath.

The afternoon session of my class didn’t meet today which meant that I was able to come home early and putter around the house for a few hours taking care of all the little things that I simply put out of my mind for the past few days. It was a good day for puttering: gloomy and rainy. I returned books to the library, did a few loads of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and, with intense guilt, cleaned the Thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge.

I hate throwing away food. If it is still perfectly good then I feel guilty for wasting it and if it is spoiled I feel guilty for not getting around to eating it in time. Maybe I took the There-Are-Starving-Children-In-[Country] message too much to heart, but I’ve always felt compelled to finish what is put in front of me. Growing up this wasn’t a problem because my mother was an expert at both portion control and leftover management so I never felt compelled to keep eating after getting full and it was a rare day in the household in which food sat in the fridge too long without being eaten. I was a proud member of the Clean Plate Club.

But when you eat something that makes you sick- and when you aren’t 100% certain of what it was- then every item in the fridge suddenly becomes suspect. Neither the Curmudgeonly Lion nor I felt like taking the risk of eating any of the Thanksgiving leftovers, and if we weren’t going to eat them then there wasn’t any point in keeping them. So I took them out to the trash and felt guilty for the rest of the day.

Guilt notwithstanding, my week suddenly feels like it is on a bit of an upswing now: I finally feel like myself again and I even feel like I’ve begun to get back on track with the things that I need to accomplish. There’s still plenty to do (there always is) and I’m still going to be hopping for the rest of the week, the weekend, and the first few days of next week so I can’t slow down yet, but at least I’m back on track. Just gotta keep chugging along.



~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 3, 2014.

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