I'm pretty sure this isn't the kind of self reflection they had in mind.

It is Ash Wednesday today. I had forgotten up until I glimpsed ashes on the foreheads of my fellow students. I didn’t go to any services, but I wasn’t planning to so that was no big deal, but I wish that I’d remembered that Lent was coming: I would have liked to give something up.

I suppose it sounds funny: wanting to give something up. I suppose it is even funnier when I say it in an “oh well, I missed the starting day, guess I can’t give anything up now” sort of way.

Privilege,  you know.

Anyway, I like having the excuse to give something up: it helps me to be more self reflective which helps me be less selfish and more aware of others. The point, though, is the being-aware-of-others part, though, so I like to give some thought to my Lenten commitments and self reflective thinking has been shoved pretty far down the priority list in favor of things like remembering to shower and keeping on top of school work.

So I probably won’t give something up this year. I’m not sure that I can imagine trying to take on anything new, either. As a student there isn’t much in the way of funds that I could disburse in the form of donations. Which brings up a dilemma: if I consider myself too busy to observe any of the traditional rituals am I considering myself to be to busy for spirituality? Am I too busy to be a better person? Am I too busy to make the world a better place? Am I too busy? What kind of person am I anyway?

Which, of course, brings me back to the topic of self reflection.

Maybe it’s not too late to give this some thought.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on February 18, 2015.

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