The Odds


No worries. You got this.

I was running my usual route at the usual time. Now that it is getting closer to the summer and the days are longer and the weather is hotter it becomes more and more difficult to talk myself into getting out the door. I knew that if I didn’t go running today then it was likely that I would sleep poorly and start the week anxious and moody.

I occasionally home that I am, at heart, very lazy, but I home about it because I’m afraid that it might be true. With every project I wonder: will this be the project on which they discover that I’m actually just a coward running from the fear of being thought badly of? With every project I fight an internal battle between my inclination to procrastinate and my fear that this is a sign that I’m actually as lazy as I think that I am and therefore an in danger of being Found Out.

I am given to understand that this Fear Of Being Found Out is actually quite common.

At any rate, I become very superstitious in times of production. And very devout, too: I certainly catch myself praying a lot. I turn to small comforting rituals: making lists, tidying messes, going for runs, and I look for small comforting omens: a favorite song on the radio, an unexpected good deed, a penny in the ground… These aren’t revelations of biblical proportions, but they get me through the day which is probably more helpful anyway.

So I was running my usual route at the usual time and I was looking for a small omen to offset some feelings of worry that were beginning to set in. As I made my way along the final leg of my route I passed a woman standing outside her apartment building walking her turtle. What were the chances? The turtle stopped to watch me pass- a red eared slider.

I couldn’t help but think that things were going to be alright.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on June 7, 2015.

2 Responses to “The Odds”

  1. You’re on the right track grrrl!

  2. I’ve never heard of or seen anyone walking a turtle. It makes me wonder if there are leash laws for turtles. None the less, I’m glad for your omen!

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