Fergot


Very good. Carry on.

Very good. Carry on.

It wasn’t until I woke up this morning that I realized that I’d forgotten to write yesterday. Completely slipped my mind.

Usually I would tell myself to accept my shortcomings and just consider it a missed goal, but I want to at least try to make up for it by maybe writing two posts today.

Other than forgetting to write it was a reasonably good weekend. It rained on and off all weekend, making Los Angeles feel downright Midwestern with humitidy, but I can hardly complain: it was a pleasant change of climate and some much needed water. It did make it a bit difficult to enjoy last night’s backyard wrap party that was held for the music video/public service announcement project that I worked on in June, but even with the rain it was good to get out of the house and just be social for a while. The hosts of the party started a small fire in their backyard fire pit which gave the gathering a cozy campfire feel.

I’ve been thinking of camping a lot lately- it has been a long time since I’ve had the chance to get out in nature and stare at a fire. There comes a point where hustle-and-bustle just isn’t fun anymore. I think I reached that point in May. I’m a pretty driven person, but I’m starting to drive myself up a wall. There does come a point where it stops being productive and starts being compulsive to be working all the time.

I’m beginning to daydream about the unexpected pleasure of doing nothing and having nothing expected of me. I’m pretty sure the impulse is normal, although it is a bit out of character for me. Usually I like being busy. I like being needed. I like doing stuff. I have high expectations of myself.  I’m not sure that the new impulses are bad- I’m sure they are probably my body’s way of telling me that I need to back off a little bit from the intensity- but they are coming at an inopportune time when I can’t act on them. Normally I would try to set aside a later date for something like this: it helps to tell myself that I can rest later when I know when “later” is, but I’m having trouble seeing beyond the end of production (except to see the start of classes) which makes it very difficult to look forward to much of anything.

Anyway, if running has taught me anything then it has taught me that sometimes it is best to focus on the here and now instead of on the big goal: you can make it there eventually if you can just keep moving forward one step at a time.

 

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 20, 2015.

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