Changeup


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Should I be fetching a band aid?

I had all these ideas about things to write about today but I didn’t write them down when I thought of them so naturally I’ve forgotten them. I’ve already had two false starts on this post ; not because I lack things to write about but rather because I don’t have enough to say about any one thing to dedicate a whole post to it.

I started the day out with bad dreams of which I remember only a handful of details but some vivid emotional responses. In the beginning I was standing out by the dumpsters and I was supposed to be getting rid of the body of a beloved dog that had just been put to sleep. The weight and the warmth of the body was very real- more real than the images in my mind. Later I was supposed to be competing in some kind of car race in the broken down streets of a city I didn’t recognize. We blocked the competitors car into an alley and I got out of our car to see who we were racing against but the creatures that climbed out of the car weren’t human. Instead they were some kind of indistinct beasts: one smaller than a cat and light colored, the other the size of a man and covered in shaggy black hair. It moved like an ape but had a long prehensile tail like a monkey and glowing silver points where eyes should’ve been. It turned and looked at me and then disappeared into the haze of steam and rubble of the city. In my dream I started screaming and didn’t stop: it was a sound unlike any other sound I’d ever heard and unlike any sound I thought myself capable of.

I woke up feeling fine, it was about an hour before the alarm but I didn’t really want to go back to sleep.

After that, the day began with a run. Typically I prefer to run in the evening as a release the day, but I wanted to see if running in the morning would help prevent me from getting wound up in the first place. I decided to do a different route that was a mile longer than my usual course. It was a damp slog through gray morning humidity and not much fun at all, but it did seem to help chill me out. After a run and a shower and some breakfast I was mellow enough to fall asleep in my coffee cup.

After running there was a meeting for production and after the meeting there was the requisite trip to campus to address paperwork for production. There was an ongoing struggle against the heat and the sun (I got a sunburn yesterday from a ten minute walk from my car to a cafe without my umbrella).

Oh, and there was a bleeding tree. I was walking to the car to drive home when I noticed the tree was bleeding.

It was a tall tree with mottled white bark, so the gashes of red really stood out. There were several places where fist sized bulges of sap-matter had seeped and oozed and dried into long red stalactites down the side of the trunk. I’d never seen such a thing before: I certainly hadn’t noticed it on the way out. I stopped and took a picture.

So all In all, it was a strange day. I can only imagine what the weekend will bring.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 24, 2015.

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