I was still tired when I got up in the morning. Unlike yesterday I wasn’t in a particularly bad mood, but the fact that I had the morning free and nothing urgent with which to fill it led to a familiar but long disused debate: do I go for a run or do I go back to bed?

For most of the summer the answer has been a foregone conclusion: go for a run or get to work. So I thought that maybe I’d lie down for just a few minutes. You know, a quick nap and then plenty of time for a run. I even set a timer.

Two hours later I finally got up again.

I wish I could say that it was two hours of deep satisfying sleep that was so compelling that I never heard the alarm and was totally worth every minute. It wasn’t. Instead it was twenty minutes of restless dreams, followed by an alarm, followed by an hour and a half of being wide awake and staring at the ceiling with absolutely zero motivation to move. I felt paralyzed. “I should get up.” I’d tell myself. “Time’s a-wastin’… In a minute. Ok, maybe five minutes. Do I have to get up? Really? I don’t feel like I do. I should. I don’t wanna.”


So the morning got off to a late start. When I finally did get up I resolved that I’d go back to the model of either going for a run or getting to work. If the chances of getting any more sleep were so low then I might as well just be tired. And productive.

I suppose all this talk of sleep is timely since I need to be getting to sleep now. Maybe tonight will be more restful.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 27, 2015.

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