Persistence of Memory

And in this one I'm trying to come up with a meal that vegans will eat.

And in this one I’m trying to come up with a meal that vegans will eat.

When I dream I am back in production. Even though we have been wrapped for several weeks now there is clearly still a part of me that is reluctant to relinquish control. At first I thought that it was just a factor of having many residual details on my mind from the production itself: one or two dreams of this kind felt perfectly normal. I’ve now had six or seven of them.

In one I’m trying to organize lunch but there are no tables and I’m trying to set it up in a derelict theatre where we are working but which has not been closed to the public so people keep trying to come in and eat our food. In another I am trying to reset a location to it’s original condition but the location is a skyscraper built on a thirty degree angle and full of rolling shelves entirely made out of glass: the minute I touch them they begin rolling across the slanted floor to crash against the windows at the far end and shatter into a million pieces. In another I’m trying to organize crew members who are blatantly ignoring me and talking to one another and the more angry I get the less voice I have. In another production seems to be going well, but I still wake up feeling un-rested.

Is this normal? I don’t know. I counted up the number of hours that I spent on filmmaking related activities from the month of August and the total came to three hundred and eleven. A normal month of heavy production usually maxes out at around two hundred and fifty. Considering this I suppose it is normal for my brain to still be going through exercises of production related problem solving. I’m torn in my impulses between telling myself to wake up whenever I catch myself dreaming about production (which would at least get me out of the dream) and letting the dreams play out in the hopes that these dreams could be a simulation for my mind to better handle issues in future production.

In spite of these recurring dreams, I’m finding it pleasant to be out from under the pressure that was the hallmark of most of my summer. There are still plenty of details that need to be chased down, but it is nice to now have the option of occasionally thinking about other things for a change.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on September 2, 2015.

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