There was an event at the Shrine Auditorium which made getting to class on time an Extra Special experience. The parking lot behind the theatre is being resurfaced (I presume- it is all torn up) so the tour buses park along the street causing narrowed lanes and gaper’s delay. One of the parking structures on campus occasionally doubles as event parking, and unfortunately that is the lot nearest to the cinema school for evening classes when my permit allows me to actually park on campus. It was an irritation to have to navigate concert traffic and event parking while in a rush for class, but only a minor one. I forgot about it almost as soon as I walked out of the building.

The concert must have just let out when I came back. There were a lot of flushed looking girls in small dresses and tall shoes walking around. I made it back to the van to discover that I was parked next to a Maserati with the passenger side door open. I waited for a moment for the passenger to close it. While I was waiting another girl appeared from I front of the van, a blonde, spongy with drunkenness and her dress tucked up in the front. Seeing me she made an effort to compose herself guilty. She picked her way across a puddle of liquid on the ground that was spreading in rivulets between the van and the Maserati before climbing into the back seat. The Maserati backed out and hustled away with an uncharacteristic alacrity for a one percenter.

I’m 90% certain that the drunk chick peed on my car.

Or, to be fair, peed in front of my car which probably seemed like it offered pretty good privacy being a minivan. But let’s be honest: the amount of space in front of a parked car in a parking garage is not wide and she was in no condition to do any precision marksmanship.

I’m somehow more annoyed baby the fact that it was a Maserati she was riding around in than the fact that she may or may not have peed on my car. Maybe I would feel just as annoyed if it were a Hyundai or a Kia, but somehow the fact that it was a luxury car adds a whole level of classist tone to the incident- as if driving a fancy enough car makes the whole world is your toilet.

Ah well. Could’ve been worse.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on October 22, 2015.

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