It’s late. I spent the whole day working on a paper that I am supposed to present in class on Tuesday so I don’t have much to write about.

The only time that I spent away from my desk was a quick run around sundown. It was good to get some fresh air and to try to clear my head. Lately I’ve been in a very strange brain space: I find myself compulsively looking at my phone although I’m never sure what it is that I’m looking for. My sense of reality feels a bit distorted- especially my sense of time. Yesterday I walked to the grocery store to buy milk and spices. It was a route that I have often walked before, but clearly it has been a while since the last time that I did. The walk to the store was uneventful, but the walk home seemed to take an eternity. None of the houses that I passed seemed to be familiar to me. I was three quarters of the way to the intersection where I needed to turn and I found myself wondering if I’d somehow blacked out and gone too far and was actually walking my way towards Long Beach. The feeling didn’t last long, but it made me realize what it must be like for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s: you lose focus for just a minute or two and suddenly the whole world seems unfamiliar.

The remainder of the trip was uneventful. I did eventually make it home, in spite of my warped sense of time. Now I just wish that I could use some of those time bending skills to give me enough time to accomplish all the things that need to be done. The paper is in good shape but I need to create a presentation to go with it. Tomorrow will mostly be spent working on my advanced project with my producing partner. After they I’ll need to do some homework for a producing class which will be due Monday before noon: and I won’t have time to work on it on Monday since nearly every hour of my day is already earmarked for classes and meetings. Ugh.

Well, it’s late now so I will just need to leave it at that for tonight and try again tomorrow.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on November 14, 2015.

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