Every Day Closer

Every day I get closer to the end of the semester and the start of winter break, and yet every day seems to be equally far away from the end. Today I went to campus for a series of small engagements that turned into a full day: I met with a professor about one of my classes for the coming semester and had a faculty/assistant/staff meeting about the class that I will be an assistant for. I also finally sat down and finished the dialogue edit on a directing scene that I did for a class in the spring that the actors have been dying to get a copy of, which took longer than I anticipated, but now is a big thing that I can cross off of my list. Tomorrow will be final screenings for one of that class that I was an assistant for, and I will also be assembling my producing thesis package. And if I’m smart I’ll sit down and work on the final essay for my television symposium class, due Monday, if I don’t crash into an impromptu coma as soon as I return home like I did today. Oh, and I need to remember to call my dad for his birthday…. So, a few things still to be done.

I really haven’t been able to think much about the holidays. Today the Curmudgeonly Lion and I sat down to debate the relative merits of flying back to Chicago for Christmas but failed to reach a decision. I’m always keen for a chance to see family, but the thought of the stress and expense and logistical negotiations necessary to make such a trip happen at this time of the year is more than I have energy to think about. At the same time, I feel guilty for just wanting to stay home alone and relax for a change: I mean, it’s the holidays and they only come once a year: what kind of person am I to want to be alone? In previous years the very thought would’ve put me in tears.

Life is such a negotiation of changing impulses.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 11, 2015.

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