Night Before


Well, he's usually trustworthy.

Tomorrow I defend my thesis. Normally a graduate student in a film production program would make a thesis film and there would be no ‘defending’, it would get made and it would have a screening and that would be that. I elected to do a ‘producing package’ for a thesis which is a weighty, spiral bound tome of about two and a half inches thick that describes on paper my plan for the production of a television pilot including a script, schedule, budget, marketing plan, distribution plan, etc. I was lucky enough to collaborate on it with a producing partner which was great because it gave me someone to bounce ideas off of so that I didn’t get too up-in- my-head about the details.

Now, though, the night before the defense, I find myself struggling to prepare. Most of the “real” work is done: everything is printed and bound and ready to be handed off to the appropriate authorities. Now all I need to do is be sure that I know the work inside and out and that I can back up my creative choices. This is where I’m running into problems. It seems that the more I try to focus on the contents of the project the more elusive the details become. The more I try to think about my creative choices and my reasoning behind them all, the more I find myself second guessing everything.

Part of this is just nerves, I know, but it’s certainly not doing anything to help ease my mind. I’ve had a few days to stew on it and I’ve been working to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of it.

The house is really clean.

At any rate, by this time tomorrow it will be over and I’ll be ( hopefully) able to concentrate on the holidays for a change.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 16, 2015.

One Response to “Night Before”

  1. Good luck today! We always seem to make thing worse in our head than what actually happens. 🙂

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