Wide Awake


Just need to think soothing oceanfront thoughts.

For the past few nights I’ve found it nearly impossible to fall asleep. I could make abundant excuses for this, but the bottom line comes down to having a mind that is simply too wound up with noise to let the heaviness of sleep settle on it. I imagine sleep as a gentle falling snow that needs to build up a thick soft blanket and my mind is like an engine running to hot to let it settle.

After two nights of this I’m beginning to see a pattern that I’m hoping won’t become a trend. I made myself spend the day upright instead of lounging like I’ve been doing for the holidays. I went for a run. I accomplished things like thank you notes and laundry. I drank chamomile tea.  It tasted like lawn clippings- hope it was worth it. As a final measure I’m going to keep my contacts in until I feel like I’m ready to actually nod off instead of just turning out the light because it is late. If I’m going to be awake into the wee hours I might as well have my eyes in so that I can read.

Having gotten bank on track with getting some things done around the house I feel much more confident already for preparing to go into the week. Tomorrow I’ll be able to take stock of the things that I want to prioritize and start rebuilding a routine. I feel like such a terrible fuddy-duddy for needing a routine, but I feel so disoriented without it. It’s like becoming a grown up and learning to appreciate a gift of new socks- it’s not an exciting gift, but you know that it means someone really cares about you.

At any rate, that’s all the writing for tonight. Now on to the sleepin’.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 27, 2015.

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