Cafe Rules


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I'm sorry, you have to have a mustache and a pipe off you want to drink our coffee.

There’s a cafe here in town that I like to recommend whenever I have to suggest a meeting place and I want someplace more interesting than a Starbucks. Every time I go there is a new sign on the door with a new rule. Must be eighteen to enter. No outside food or drink: including water bottles. Don’t leave your car parked on the lot after you leave the cafe. Mandatory one drink minimum.

The rules themselves are not unreasonable, but most of them seem like common sense/common courtesy rules that don’t need too be spelled out in Helvetica font on laminated paper and taped to every surface.  For the amount of rules involved, I half expect to discover nude dancing girls on every table when I walk inside. But, no: it’s not that interesting. It’s just a really expensive coffee shop.

Don’t get me wrong- I love rules and order, but I have my limits. It’s a coffee shop not a chemical plant. The rules aren’t there for anybody’s safety. They are there for the benefit of the business owners: a way to create exclusivity.

And it’s becoming a turn off. No- not becoming- it is a turnoff. Going there makes me constantly worry that I’m doing something wrong. I have to wonder how long it will be before there is a mandatory drink required for each hour that you occupy a chair. That there will be a dress code ( all black, semi- hipster creative professional attire) and a requirement that you only work on a silver MacBook.

I may have to go back to Starbucks: it’s less fussy and cheaper- and when you make Starbucks look cheap and unfussy you know you have a problem.

Fussiness aside, it was good to get out of my routine and see a friend from outside of the graduate program. Sometimes it’s good to shake things up.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on February 10, 2016.

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