Lift And Lower


Less boo hoo, more woo hoo.

Once rehearsal was over, the relief felt like a great weight had been lifted and I could breathe again. I went home and had a late lunch and then lay down for a nap. Or, at least, a resting: sleep never quite happened due to persistent interruptions. Afterwards I got up and went for a run.

Usually running makes me feel great, but the mood shattered abruptly the minute that I walked back in the door after this one. I walked back out again to cool down and clear my head, but didn’t quite shake the feeling of being suddenly angry and upset. All I could think was that this was a buildup of feelings that I’ve been too busy to deal with of late and that they all came crashing down just because I let my guard down. There’s a lot of little things that I just haven’t been able to address: the little bit of weight that is starting to show on my stomach, the lines beginning to show on my face (ahh, the indignity of age!), the fact that all my favorite clothes are dirty in the laundry including my comfy green sweater because the cat peed on it, the fact that the cat was going around peeing and puking on things, etc. Not big things but they build up.

Anyway, the feeling passed eventually. Dinner helped. Tomorrow I’ll gather my wits and figure out how to deal with it all.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on April 2, 2016.

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