The muse is upon me!

The muse is upon me!

I’m really bad about putting off things that I actually want to do. I think some part of me believes that prioritizing work over fun is a hallmark of being a Responsible Adult, as if work, by it’s very nature, can not also be fun. Fun-work doesn’t feel like work, after all.

Writing falls into this category. Let me set the scene: it is ten o clock at night and I’m finally sitting down to write a post for the day. But I don’t want to write a post, what I really want to write is an opening for a screenplay that has been kicking around since I woke up. At four in the morning. I spent an hour lying in the darkness trying to figure out all the angles of an opening scene for an idea that I’ve had in mind for almost a year. I finally had something that I thought might work, and I’d been meaning to write it down all day but kept putting other things first. Meetings. Work. Emails. Job applications.

The longer it went on, the more I realized what I was doing and the more annoyed I got with myself. Am I the kind of person who talks a big game about writing something and then never sits down to actually do it? Am I the kind of person who is going to  suddenly have a birthday where I look back at my life and realize that the years have been filled with fruitless Meant To and Never Got Around To and Planned To intentions? This might be one of my biggest life-long fears: the fear of not getting around to something important.

So I decided to put off writing this post and work on writing my opening. Just for a little while. Just to get some ideas down on paper. It felt like such a relief! I wrote five pages before the Curmudgeonly Lion came into the kitchen, half-asleep, for a drink of water and I took that as my cue to call it a night.

Once I wrote this post, of course.

So I think that my new goal is to keep track of how many pages that I write each day. Earlier in the month I kicked around the idea of trying to write ten pages a day, but I don’t think that it’s a goal I can actually, reasonably, expect to keep. But if I can keep track of how much I do write, maybe it will give me the excuse to actually commit to sitting down and putting words on paper. So that’s my goal: to mark down how many pages I write per day.  Only narrative writing counts: Daily journal style posts don’t count. Letters don’t count. I’ll see how I do for June and then decide whether it is a goal worth continuing.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on May 31, 2016.

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