Nope- even made time to surf teh Facebooks

Nope- even made time to surf teh Facebooks

I think that it has finally been long enough since graduation that I’ve finally “unclenched” from my death-grip on the old routines. If life changes involve emotional stages the way that grief does, then I think I’ve finally made a move from the stage where you’re convinced you can hold onto the old way of life (they would call this “denial” although that’s a pretty strong term- I prefer “momentum”) to the stage where you have begun to let go of the old way of life but have not yet started the new way yet. I think they would call this “depression”, but this too is a pretty strong term- I would call it “stasis” or maybe “inertia”- whatever the fancy term is for that moment that a pendulum reaches the end of it’s arc and hangs suspended before it begins to swing the other direction.

Anyway, this stage seems to involve a lot of sleep and not a lot of motivation. I’m trying to strike the right kind of balance between wanting to sleep all day and urgently feeling like I need to Get Stuff Done before I get a job and don’t have time anymore. It’s tricky to do this without deadlines or a sense of direction. I’ve been resorting to domestic activities with the idea that I can at least try to get my house in order.

So today involved a lot of baking of banana bread and cleaning of floors and sorting of receipts. I did take two naps, but I also went for a run- which wasn’t easy since it was still bright and sunny even at seven in the evening and the air was hazy and still with humidity. Blech. The weekend is supposed to get up into the nineties- Monday is supposed to get into the hundreds. I’m not looking forward to it.

Tomorrow is another day of house-hunting. Maybe we will find The One and I’ll be able to focus on the specific goal of Moving House for a while. I’d really rather be focusing on it all by itself instead of trying to divide my focus between Moving House and Starting A New Job, but things tend to like to happen all at once.

Anyway, that’s all for today.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on June 17, 2016.

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