Next Phase

You know... just go with your gut. Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

Well, the next phase of life is beginning: our application was finally accepted for a new house to rent. We haven’t signed the lease yet, so I can’t quite celebrate this as a victory, but the corner seems to be nearing.

Even though I’ve been waiting for this and working for it all summer, it still feels very sudden. After learning the news my day was lost in a fog of unreality: it didn’t seem right to start packing (again, nothing has been signed yet) but it was the only thing I could think about. In spite of a few lackadaisical organizational efforts, I had not yet begun to pull up roots from our current home. As much as I like the new house (and I do- I think it will be a good fit) I don’t know much about the area it is in: where will we buy groceries? Where will I go running? Will I find a new dry cleaner that I like? Will I be able to find a new dentist?

The news has been affecting me strangely. My mood is strangely volatile and heightened (I’m about ready to punch out the windows of the car that habitually parks in the fire lane, and I find myself verging on tears of the fact that I can’t just do it) and my reactions often don’t match up to the situations that supposedly cause them. I have to make an effort not to deflect my feelings onto the innocent bystanders. I’m sure that I will feel better once everything is sealed in ink and I can go ahead and start moving forward- the closer that I get to a life-change, the more terrible the suspense of being in limbo.

In the meantime, all my other life-changes have suddenly gotten a deadline. Finding A Job has a particularly loud ticking clock now: new house means new rent and that means that I have to contribute. I can’t just work for the practice of it anymore. Shakespeare got to get paid, son. I’m compensating (at least at the moment) by posting things on Legto to try to shed some dead-weight and earn some money before the move. All prices negotiable. Still no bites, although one gentleman with questionable English offered to let me buy some of his stuff- you know, since I was selling.

So that was my day. Progress.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 3, 2016.

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