Matchbooks and Earplugs

Evidently I am in good company based upon the contents of Marilyn Monroe's makeup drawer (as sold in auction 2005).

Evidently I am in good company based upon the contents of Marilyn Monroe’s makeup drawer (as sold in auction 2005).

I gave myself permission to not go up to the new house today and instead to stay in the apartment to put myself in order. I feel much clearer headed for having done so. It was nice to just get laundry done. I still hate doing laundry, but I sure like having it done. And I’m looking forward to not having to use a shared laundry facility for much longer: someone in the complex decided that today would be a good day to fill all three machines with four loads of laundry and then abandon them for the rest of the morning. I waited an hour before deciding it was appropriate to take their clothes out of the dryer so that I could use it. They still hadn’t come for their clothes by the time I came back to take my laundry out.

The rest of the day was spent packing. I found it difficult to complete whole tasks: like “clear everything out of the studio closet” seemed to be an impossible task to finish. Instead I resorted to smaller areas. Empty the junk drawer. Clear out the medicine cabinet. Collect all clothes for dry cleaning. These seemed more manageable. At every turn I seemed to find another book of matches and another cache of earplugs. Evidently I’m worried about being more than arm’s length from either at any given moment. Every drawer seemed to have a token matchbook and a set of earplugs. I think I’ve gathered them all, but who knows.

I’ve begun tagging the empty drawers and cabinets with post-it notes so that I can keep track of what has been cleared and what still has items inside. It gives me a visual reference for my progress since the pile of boxes never seems to change or move no matter how many times I load the van.

The more progress that I make on the move the more my mind begins to turn to the other things still hanging over my head: finding a job, finishing my projects, etc. Especially the job one. I tell myself to have faith: that when the time is right the right opportunity will come along, but it is a tenuous faith that requires constant maintenance and encouragement. The work will come. The work will come. The work will come. And it will be worth the wait. In the meantime, all I can do is keep moving forward.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 19, 2016.

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