Incredible Shrinking Life

Nah it'll just take one trip.

Nah it’ll just take one trip.

The apartment is getting bigger. With the removal of each piece of furniture, I can see more wall, more floor, more corners than I used to see. Yesterday I took a full length mirror out of the bedroom and spent the rest of the evening glancing in astonishment at the wall that no longer bore my reflection.

We are finally getting closer to The Shift when we will move all the major pieces of our life up to the new house and start living at the new address. Today I moved dishes, pots and pans, small appliances like the Kitchen Aid and Cuisinart; the things that I could say with some certainty that we wouldn’t be using between now and Saturday. I haven’t really started thinking about it yet, but we are getting to the point of beginning the “Lasts”: the last time we will cook at the apartment, the last time we will watch TV here, the last time I will go running on my usual route. Today I picked up my last dry cleaning. Tomorrow I will need to return my last library book and pay my last overdue fee. As anxious as I am for all of this to be over, I’m a little bit sorry that I’m not spending more time acknowledging the Lasts.

I seem to be coping by reading articles about death that make me cry: the article about a family friend who got lost on the Appalachian Trail, the article about a girl in California who elected to take advantage of the state’s new¬†End of Life Option Act instead of languishing with terminal ALS. You would think that all these articles would make me feel sad- especially considering the crying- but somehow I feel better afterwards. I suppose they offer some perspective: this isn’t really the end, it’s just the end of a chapter. I can already begin to see my new life taking shape- I suppose that helps too. I’m certainly less overwhelmed.

So that’s something.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 24, 2016.

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