Turning a Corner


The day began at five in the morning with a brief jolt of adrenaline because I’d forgotten to set my alarm after turning it off for the weekend. I launched out of bed with a little bit of suppressed panic and a surprising amount of motivation: a friend was looking to get some artwork done and I was ready to get to work. After seeing the Curmudgeonly Lion out the door I sat down at the table and got to work and stayed there without interruption until nearly eleven. 
It felt good to be drawing again, but more than that it felt good to have a single specific task to accomplish. A job for the day. That’s the doer in me. 

At noon the plumber arrived to repair the toilet- the other toilet- which turned into replacing the toilet. So now we have a toilet on our front lawn. I’m hoping that the garage pickup will take it, but I really don’t know. 

The afternoon was fraught with on-again off-again anxiety as my mind crossed and recrossed all the things I still needed to do and had neither time, focus, nor energy to do. Each time out happened I wished for a cup of coffee in some vain hope that with just a  tiny bit more energy I wouldn’t feel so helpless. But no: six days in, four days to go before coffee becomes a crutch again. 

On that note, however, I did make it through the whole day from five in the morning onward with neither coffee nor a nap, so I think I’ve turned a corner. And I made excellent progress on my to do list for the day. So maybe I’m not so helpless after all. 

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on September 12, 2016.

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