Not a Dog, Not a Cat


Don't mind me.

Don’t mind me.

A red Camaro blasted past, inches from my window, as we attempted to merge into his lane (just ask him) and then had the temerity to give us the finger when we put our high-beams on in annoyance. He then proceeded to become the most timid and brake-happy Camaro driver in the history of men in sports cars. Until we changed lanes and passed him, at which point he became very motivated indeed. Now, he thought, it was his turn to have the high beams on and no amount of lane changing was going to stop him. We merged right three lanes, then left, then right again. Each time he would wedge himself in behind us and turn the brights on again.

We elected to get off of the highway before our usual exit: if he was vindictive enough to follow us then we didn’t want him knowing our usual route. The Camaro stayed on the highway and good riddance. We followed surface streets through neighborhoods for the rest of the way. About halfway to our turn, traffic slowed down. The Curmudgeonly Lion could see a dog up ahead and speculated that it might’ve been someone’s lost dog and that was why everyone was slowing down. As we got closer, it became clear that no, it wasn’t a dog it was a coyote scavenging in a heap of construction detritus. Everyone was slowing down to look at the coyote.

I figured that would probably be my quota of wildlife for the day, but as I went out the back door to toss some watermelon rinds in the compost bucket I saw something skitter along the backyard wall out of the corner of my eye. I figured it was a cat. There are several neighborhood outdoor cats who come by to torment our indoor cats. Nope. It was cat sized, but it was definitely an opossum. Or a giant rat. It disappeared into the bushes before I could get a really good look at it.

Clearly we have relocated to the edge of the wilderness.

All these wildlife sightings have made me wonder whether the Camaro driver was real as well. Maybe he just seemed like a dildo in a sports car: you know, out of the corner of my eye. But I doubt it.

That was my excitement for the day.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on October 26, 2016.

One Response to “Not a Dog, Not a Cat”

  1. […] via Not a Dog, Not a Cat — Prompts and Influences […]

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