Hazed


I’m sitting in the lobby of the building where I work listening to the subdued tones of a political discussion on the television over my shoulder without looking at it. The weather is gray and hazy which also sums up my mental state at the moment. My neck is still sore enough to be distracting but not so bad that I can use it as an excuse to not do what needs doing for the day. Advil doesn’t help with the pain (then again it never does) but I take it in the hopes of keeping any inflammation to a minimum. 

Thanks to the sore my weekend plans were pretty well shot- I managed to do slightly more than nothing, but now feel doubly pressed to make progress during a week likely to be much interrupted with social obligations for the coming holidays. Having things hanging over my head really takes the fun out of the holidays. 

I wish that I had more to say: as the year draws to a close and the future feels very uncertain which makes it hard to plan and my instincts to have multiple contingencies in place has pretty well shorted out leaving me scrambling just to get through the day to day tasks, escaping into fantasy whenever possible even though I know I need to be focusing on the here and now more than ever. 

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on December 12, 2016.

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