This is pretty much me on the inside all the time.

This is pretty much me on the inside all the time.

I woke up annoyed. I’m not sure what I was annoyed about or why; only that everything seemed to be *just* a little bit more frustrating than was absolutely necessary. Preparing breakfast required too many trips back and forth to the fridge. The train was just slightly more crowded than I wanted it to be. My necklace kept snagging on my scarf. Etc. I did my best to reign it in for the benefit of humankind at large (you’re welcome): it wasn’t humanity’s fault I was in a sour mood.

I blame Dove. You know Dove: the makers of soaps and other hygiene products? The ones with the body positive advertising? You don’t need to be a supermodel to be beautiful- all you need is Dove body wash! That Dove? Yeah, I used to like them too. I don’t buy many brand name products, but for years I was using Dove deodorant because it didn’t force me to smell “powder fresh”. I didn’t want fragrance. The whole point of deodorant was to not smell. It’s right there in the name: de-odor-ant. Dove seemed to understand this. Dove seemed to have my back.

Dove does not have my back. Dove thinks I’m a body-positive bottom line. Dove likes big bottom lines and it cannot lie.

You know how much more women’s Dove deodorant costs than mens? Over a dollar. A DOLLAR MORE! THAT’S A LOT WHEN YOU DO YOUR GROCERY SHOPPING AT THE DOLLAR STORE!

I always thought the case about gender biased pricing was a bit overstated: sure, women have to buy a bunch of stuff that guys don’t have to like nylons and feminine hygiene products, and sure companies love to shellack women’s products in pink and floral and in some cases rhinestones, but surely thats an apples to oranges comparison, right?  The actual difference in comparable products can’t be that different, right? And, I mean, this has been a topic of some interest since 2014- surely companies have made some changes since then. Right? Right?!

A whole dollar more expensive.

Do you know how long I stood in front of that deodorant display fuming over a dollar? I sure as hell wasn’t going to buy Dove for women again. I looked at the men’s versions. The options were just as bad: all the fragrances sound like they were meant to be Gatorade flavors: Arctic Rush, Cool Fresh. I had no compunctions about wearing men’s deodorant if that was the cheaper option, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to give any of my money to a company that was prepared to gouge me by a whole dollar just for the dubious privilege of being Powder Fresh instead of Cool Fresh.

So no more Dove for me, which I’m sure they are just devastated about. (I imagine wailing and gnashing of teeth and lamentations of tortured introspection: “Oh what have we done! She’s gone and we’ll never win her baaaaaaaack!”) And my buying habits are about to get a whole lot more dudely as I start buying men’s everything in order to save my goddamn money.

You know what? Maybe this annoyance isn’t quite as unexplainable as I thought it was.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on January 18, 2017.

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