Start Again


The anxiety is back. 

Don’t ask me what I’m anxious about. I’m not anxious about anything, I just woke up feeling like I was on fire and knowing that there would be no further refuge in sleep. I wrote a whole blog about it while on the bus on my way to work comparing the way that it seeped into my mind to the way that rain water setups in around the escape hatches of the buses to drip into the cabin. It was thoughtful and philosophical and I would love to share it with you but it is also, somehow, gone. Disappeared. Poof. Like it never existed off my phone. I tried restarting the app. Gone. I tried restarting the phone. Still gone. I’m so angry that I want to destroy something. The last thing I feel like doing is starting over, but since I can’t do anything else, here I am: redoing the work that should have been done by now because some technological blip has conveniently dismissed my effort. 

I should be used to this by now, but frankly I’m in no mood to be philosophical about it.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on February 20, 2017.

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