Origin Story


INT. HELL – ETERNITY

Somewhere deep in the pits of Eternal Damnation, Research and Development Department, it is progress review day. A young down-and-going demon innovator pitches his passion project to the Pointy Horned Boss.

DEMON: Sir, I have a plan for the greatest plague of curses humanity has ever seen.

POINTY HORNED BOSS (PHB): IS IT A WAR?

DEMON: No, not a war.

PHB: IS IT A PLAGUE?

DEMON: No, not a plague. It’s a device.

PHB: A DEVICE?

DEMON: Yes, an addictive device carried in the palm of the hand. So addictive that everybody will want one and will spend every moment of every day lovingly gazing upon it. 

PHB: I DON’T SEE THE APPEAL.

DEMON: It will start small- a device for communicating over distances with one’s voice. Then there will be simple games. Then… The Internet. Soon everybody will use it all the time to spy on each other’s lives- vanity, envy and greed will flourish! And then… Phase Two.

PHB: AND WHAT IS PHASE TWO?

DEMON: We start to make the devices bigger. Slightly bigger with each version: still meant to fit in the palm of a human hand but too big for a pocket- too big to use one handed…

PHB: AND THEN?

DEMON: Then, we make the devices out of the most shock sensitive technology that the human world has to offer and cover it with a screen so brittle it will crack with the slightest touch, scratch or scuff. And then… We coat the whole thing with Teuflon, to give it some shine. 

PHB: TEUFLON?

DEMON: Yes sir- like they use to coat nonstick cooking pans… Only more fiendishly slippery.

EXT. EARTH – DAY

A human struggles to type a text one handed. Drops the phone. The screen cracks.

HUMAN: Damnit!

INT. HELL – CONTINUOUS

PHB: MAKE IT SO. 

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on June 6, 2017.

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