Weekend Heat

The temperatures of the weekend tipped into triple digits and largely kept me sequestered indoors in the cool while sapping my will to accomplish anything. Although, that said, we did manage to make the most of it by running errands and visiting friends on Saturday and by babysitting, attending writer’s group, and even venturing out for a sunset run on Sunday. So it was actually a productive few days after all. 
I got word on Saturday that a family friend had passed away. It wasn’t unexpected: she was one hundred years old and had been in decline for a month or two after experiencing a medical mishap that had landed her in the hospital. Although she was quite close to our family as an adopted grandparent, I still feel strangely disconnected from the news of her death. The last that I saw her was at Christmas (when she was ‘merely’ ninety nine and going strong) and I suppose a part of me simply believes that she isn’t gone so much as she is just much farther away. 

Perhaps it is my mind grinding through the emotional work of a loss, or perhaps it was the heat, but I found myself experiencing wild dreams and a pounding heart. It is a perennial fear of mine that these symptoms signal a return of that old anxious feeling that sometimes gets the better of me. I can only hope that the fact that I’m not currently under pressure to produce any particular projects by any particular deadlines will prevent these worries from finding fertile ground to grow in. 

On Sunday I found myself home and free at just the right time to go running as the heat of the day was, at last, beginning to ease off. It was not an easy run- I hadn’t gone running for almost two weeks and I was feeling every day of it, but I did my full distance and finished feeling strong, if dehydrated, from the effort. 

So that said, the week is open before me and with a little luck I’ll be able to get back into a normal groove. 

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 10, 2017.

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