August Haze


Yeah it’s the inside of my pocket, so what?

I keep drinking hot water. Partly, it is to fool my body into thinking that it’s drinking coffee (spoiler: it doesn’t work) and partly as a way to fight off the persistent chill of the air conditioning. Thanks to a long steak of days with heat in the nineties, the air conditioning has been correspondingly cranked down to sub arctic temperatures. Every few hours I retreat to the bathroom to do some lunges in the hopes that engaging the muscle mass will fend off the chill for a little while. It doesn’t help as much as I’d like it to. 

Two days caffeine free, eight days to go. I’m remarkably clear headed, all things considered, although I seem to be making up for it in lack of motivation and a complete breakdown of self discipline. Suddenly my downtime is endless, mindless Facebook surfing. When I try to engage my mind on something constructive it just sort of slides off the surface with a limp ‘nah’. I seem to have achieved a state where my brain isn’t just uninspired, it is actively deflecting inspiration. Instead, all my creative energies seem to have been funneled into extraordinarily detailed dreams with convoluted storylines and casts of thousands. 

I’m trying to make the most of it though: I figure that if I’m going without coffee then I might as well whiten my teeth. I broke out a new set of Crest whitestrips this morning and applied my first ‘dose’. They’ve changed a LOT since I last used them. The new emulsion is much less gooey and the strips adhere much more firmly to your teeth. So firmly, in fact, that peeling them off is like peeling off a bandaid. I’m not sure that I can see a difference yet, but then again it’s only been one dose so far. 

Wait and see. The story of my life right now. 

The rest of life has fallen into a holding pattern: the plumbing is finished, but the walls and floors still need to be repaired so everything is still in disarray. The fridge still occupies its half in the middle of the kitchen, the washer and dryer are still vacationing in the dining room. The Curmudgeonly Lion’s office is still empty, my office is still double-full. Every day the progress, if there is any, is so incremental that it’s difficult to articulate so all the days are beginning to blur together into an indistinct haze. 

Eight days to go…

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 9, 2017.

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