New Routes


My Muse is beginning to come back into orbit. This is a relief that isn’t easy to express in words: every time I get out of synch with my inspiration I worry that I’ve heard from it for the last time. For several weeks, I haven’t even had the motivation to try to put pen to paper. I blamed the chaos of having the household torn up for repairs, but it’s difficult to say whether this was the actual cause of my mental ennui, or if it was just the convenient excuse I used for not making better progress in spite of being uninspired. After all, amateurs wait for inspiration, professionals get to work. 
So the words are starting to come to me again, but they aren’t coming in any sort of order. I find myself writing and rewriting and rephrasing and cutting and pasting the words to get them into anything resembling a narrative, but at least I’m getting it down on paper. I blame my recent attempts to try to train myself to write left handed for this. I’m actually getting reasonably proficient at the writing, although it’s still much slower that writing right handed, and I have to do it at a desk with the right kind of pen and the paper angled ‘just so’ if I want it to be legible, but I’m getting there. However, I’m pretty certain that all this practicing is rewiring my brain in interesting ways. I still get this strange sense of having to ‘translate’ thoughts that I’ve had while working left handed. I find myself struggling to find the right words for what I want to express, often circling redundantly over the same wrong-but-close word. Sometimes the right word comes to me after the fact and I circle back again to replace it. Sometimes I just have to give up and move on, reminding myself that Done is better than Good. My hope is that, if I can get enough almost-right words down on the page that I’ll eventually learn these new routes through my mind and the inspiration will flow smoothly again. 

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 23, 2017.

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