When the end of thework day feels like *magic*!

“Hi, I’m calling to get a wage remitter ID number.”

“A what?”

“A wage remitter ID number?” I hated the way my voice turned the end of the sentence into a question.

“What is that? I don’t know what that is.” So far, no one had known what it was. I might as well have been asking for a left-handed smoke shifter. 

“I don’t know either.” I was forced to admit. “They just told me to call up and ask for one. Something to do with e-filing?” I was calling the Department of Revenue for each state, to try to get this mysterious number in order to e-file payroll taxes. It was a Special Task assigned to me instead of cutting payroll checks. Whether I wanted it or not. So far, I was hating every minute of it. And I was only on California: I still had forty six states to go. After that, I got to start over with the Department of Labor to ask the same question for the efiling of unemployment insurance. 

I was hating every minute of it, but no one had asked what I thought about it, so I was keeping my mouth shut. 

When California directed me to their e-filing department and the e-filing department referred me right back to tax assistance, I weighed my options: I could continue to make calls and get no answers, if there were truly no answers to get then maybe that was my answer, and if they wanted to pay me to spin my wheels so that someone else didn’t have to spin theirs, then fine. But if I made it through the whole list, got no answers, and had to go back and do it all over, asking for the same thing in different words, then I’d be trapped in this circle of hell for that much longer. 

I’m pretty sure hell is a telemarketer call center where all you do all day is make pointless phone calls asking for things no one knows about from people who don’t want to talk to you. 

I decided to ask for clarification. I emailed the gal who had given me the assignment to ask what, exactly, a wage remitter ID number was. She didn’t know. She kicked it up the ladder to someone above her paygrade and told me to keep researching the phone numbers for people to call in the meantime. So that was how I spent the rest of the day. Today I get to make the calls again. The number, as it turns out, might be a number that we already have: a Federal Employer ID, a state registration number: it’s not that I need an actual number to be read to me over the phone, but rather that I need to ask which number their e-file system requires. I hope. It could be a long day. I’m so going to reward myself with candy when this is done. I know you’re not supposed to use junk food as a reward system, but shutupImmakingphonecallsalldaywhichismyleastfavoritething; I’m going to go ahead and have a Nutty Bar. 

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on August 30, 2017.

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