The double edged blessing of Thanksgiving weekend, is having twice as much time to get half as much accomplished. It was a lovely break, but after four days of leisure, I’m appropriately relieved to be back to my regularly scheduled routine. I suppose, it probably says something about the complacency of my character that I would rather be at work in my regular routine than to continue to be on vacation. I’m beginning to wonder whether this is a character flaw that I need to fight back against. 

Thursday, of course, was Thanksgiving. I made an effort to give some thought to the things that I am thankful for, but failed to cultivate a really satisfying sense of gratitude. Ungrateful wretch. Why couldn’t I just be happy with what I had? I recognised my good fortune: enough, and plenty of the necessities, a good home, a happy family, a feast of delicious food, a reliable job, etc. Why wasn’t I warmed by the thought of them? Perhaps this too is a flaw in my character, but somewhat on the opposite end: my dissatisfaction with the gifts that good fortune has seen fit to bestow upon me. 

If this mindset seems infuriating contradictory, welcome to the particular brand of insanity that has been dogging me all weekend.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on November 27, 2017.

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