Rebalancing


The National Cemetery in Los Angeles is one of the most peaceful places I can think of. Every day, from the window of the bus, I look out over the smooth green plains of orderly headstones. It always strikes me as a place of low light and cool shade and quiet, even in the heart of a big, loud, dirty city. When I need to imagine a tranquil place, that is the place that I picture. And it’s not Lost on me that this peace is built on the remains of thousands of lives.

I think it’s safe to say that I’ve managed to balance myself back on an even keel again- at least for today. After yesterday’s histrionics, I wasn’t sure what kind of act to expect as a follow up, but luckily for me it seemed to be low key.

I went for a second bass lesson. It’s been a few weeks since my first one and I was feeling pretty good about my practicing: I didn’t get to do it every day, but I feel like I put in good work on the days that I did do it. And always managed to put in at least an hour. And the hour typically went by in the blink of an eye, which I usually take as a good sign. I have a new set of exercises to work on now, and a new deadline to meet, so I feel optimistic about it.

After the bass lesson I spent the afternoon in my studio working on a project that has been hanging over my head for years. It was finally time to let it go. Quite literally, in this case- as I plan to box it up and ship it away. I was creating a production binder for an old project. In triplicate. I already had most of the documents in order, it was really more a matter of determining which documents needed to be scanned and copied for the duplicate books, so it was a lot of scan and print and collate and assemble, but I think it’s finally done. My last task will be to copy all the digital files onto a thumb drive to accompany the books: everything I have, all in one place, and no longer in my hands.

I think it will be a relief.

And, of course, I went for a run. It was not an easy run. I’ve gotten out of the habit of running for days back-to-back, much less running increased distances and/or running under emotional duress. Everything ached. The ache didn’t go away after warmup. I had no further epiphanies, but that was fine by me- sometimes I just want to go for a normal jog without tapping into the source code of the universe. But it felt like a good way to end the weekend.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on May 28, 2018.

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