Mind Matter

I gOt RhYtHm.


The alarm went off at five in the morning.

Strictly speaking, this was nothing new: the alarm goes off at five on every morning, it’s just that usually I get to smack it into silence and enjoy another half an hour of dozing before the *real* alarm goes off at five thirty. Because I like to live like a rockstar.

But on this morning the alarm went off at five and I forced myself to get out of bed on the first try. I’d promised to drive my sister, Bean, and her husband, Steadfast, and the baby, Nugget to the airport and they needed me to show up at their place by quarter to six so they could load in. And in all honesty, it wasn’t that hard to force myself out of bed: I was damp with sweat on both sides from the heat and it didn’t seem likely that I was going to be getting any more restful sleep anyway.

So I lurched upright with a sudden wave of nausea as my body tried to figure out what temperature it wanted to be. I dressed. I made a lunch. I ate breakfast. I gathered my wits and my belongings for the work day and I headed out the door, arriving at Bean’s place only a few minutes later than I’d intended.

It wasn’t until I was nearly down to the airport that I realized I’d forgotten to grab my lunch. I mean, I’d packed it: it was all ready to go. I’d even put it on the table so that I would see it instead of leaving it on the kitchen counter where I was likely to forget it. I forgot it anyway.

This, as it turns out, was going to be par for my day.

Steadfast, bless him, sneakily left lunch money under my keys while I was unloading the luggage, which I didn’t discover until later.

The Curmudgeonly Lion , bless him, drove down later in the morning to deliver said lunch, but got sideswiped by another vehicle along the way and had to take the driver’s side rearview mirror off the car in the loading dock. The mounting for the mirror was broken, but the mirror itself appeared to be fine so we’ll have to see about getting it re-attached, but it looks likely that the Sneaky Lunch Money is actually going to become the Mirror Repair money. Le sigh.

My mind and my body have been out of sync all day. I want to believe that my subconscious is processing one of my ongoing projects and I will suddenly have a breakthrough in which inspiration leaps from my head fully formed. In the meantime, however, the thought feels like a massive, physical thing sitting in my sinuses and blocking all other thought processes.

Trying to marshal my thoughts into a single train has been like herding cats: the only way I managed to make any progress at all was to skirt around the edges of my mind and hope that I was headed in the right direction. I wrote thank you notes. I went for a run. I puttered around the garden. I practiced (sort of)… even practicing felt like my brain was trying to issue instructions to my hands by using semaphore. There was a lot of fumbling.

So hopefully I’ll get a good night’s sleep and be back to my normal self in the morning.

And hopefully a breakthrough will be waiting for me when I get there.


~ by Gwydhar Gebien on July 10, 2018.

One Response to “Mind Matter”

  1. Us intrepid people living on the edge and getting up at 5:30 instead of 5:00.

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