New Day

I aspire to be like a potbelly stove: warm, dependable, and comfortable.

It was New Year’s Day, but it was nothing special. I spent the day around the house texting well wishes to friends and trying to organize the stack of bills that had been piling up on my desk for months. I went for a run. I sorted receipts. I made tentative meeting plans for the weekend, which I have to keep reminding myself is only three days away, not five. I picked up my bass again for the first time since… October? It was just for ten minutes of warm-up exercises, but it felt good on principle. I don’t have any goal in mind for lessons or practicing. I don’t have much in the way of goals or resolutions at all this year. In some ways, I feel like I’m just getting out of an abusive relationship: 2018 certainly tested my limits and opened up a lot of old baggage that I thought I’d stowed away years ago. I want to be optimistic and inspired by the new year, but mostly I feel afraid of getting hurt again/more.

So my new year’s goals are pretty modest:

  • Keep on with current projects until done.
  • Don’t save things like fancy candles or fancy soaps for special occasions, but instead try to make any occasion special enough to merit fancy things.
  • Recommit to current goals: flossing daily, walking/running daily, writing blogs, planking, maybe even practicing (we’ll see).

That’s it. Keep on keeping on.

My only goal for January is to clear my drawing board: literally and physically. To file away my bills, to organize my thoughts, to try to get a sense of everything I just went through and to get a sense of where it is leading. Hopefully that will be enough.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on January 1, 2019.

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