Zonk was out of the office again, which meant that the work washed ashore on my desk in a continuous series of waves throughout the day. I was glad of the distraction: after last week’s marathon of social activity I was finding myself alone with my thoughts again and I didn’t want to get into another vortex of overthink.

I’ve reined in my socializing this week to try to get back to some kind of balance. I truly enjoyed getting to go out last week, but I know that my capacity for socializing is limited and I don’t always know where my limits are. More than once I’ve run out of energy before running out of obligations and I usually find myself overwhelmed and burned out until I have time to recharge. I thought it would be wise to pace myself.

So work was just the kind of pleasant tedium that I needed.

I’m trying- struggling, but trying- to recondition my brain to imagine the scenarios in which things go right instead of the ones in which they go wrong. And when I can’t do that, I try to play a game with myself where I imagine how the worst case scenarios could actually turn out to be incredible strokes of luck. It doesn’t always stop my natural tendency towards pessimism, but it does help balance out the gloom.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on January 30, 2019.

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