Blech Coffee

Start early, stay late.


Start early, stay late. Story of my life.

By three in the afternoon I could barely keep my head up off the desk, and I’d forgotten to pack a spare energy shot so I retreated to the kitchen in the hopes that there might still be some coffee in the pot. Clearly I wasn’t the only one feeling the afternoon slump: I arrivedin the kitchen to find one of the Paymasters spooning coffee grounds into the coffee pot.

“Is that coffee?” I asked, obviously, then amended: “Are you making a full pot?”

“Do you want some?” She asked, managing to answer the question I was struggling to spit out. “You can have some.”

“Thanks.” I said. “I’m dying I’m so tired.

Figuratively. Not literally. Obviously.

The coffee was black and strong. I poured myself a cup and it came out of the pot the consistency of maple syrup and the color of lost souls. I knew before I even took a sip that I was going to need to water it down.

Water didn’t help.

The coffee was so thick and bitter that it gave me full body goosebumps with each sip.

“Drink it while it’s hot,” I thought, “before it cools down and you can actually taste it.”

It cooled down. I could actually taste it. Malöort has less bite.

I decided to try adding creamer. I never add creamer, but I was considering it now. I went to the kitchen and plunged a thundercloud of hazelnut Coffeemate into the cup. The coffee now smelled like a waffle cone from a fancy ice cream parlor, but my stomach was not fooled. The full body goosebumps became aching chills and for an hour or two I kept feeling my forehead hoping that I hadn’t caught the flu.

But hey, at least I was awake.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll remember the energy shot.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on February 22, 2019.

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