Middling


It’s Wednesday.

Hump Dayee!! As the Geico commercials like to remind us. And it feels like it. I feel like I’m in the middle of everything: the middle of the week, the middle of my projects, the middle of conversations that I can’t yet predict the end of. It’s a frustrating kind of weightlessness: like being at the peak of a rollercoaster- no longer climbing up, not yet plummeting down.

And like a rollercoaster, I can’t decide if I’m looking forward to the coming movement with exhilaration or dread. All I know is that I’m not much enjoying the suspense.

They say that when you’re struggling with feeling stuck and frustrated (actuate the article was about depression, but theadvice works pretty well in a lot of situations) that the key is making a decision. It doesn’t have to be perfect- the article refers to it as a ‘good enough’ decision: just enough to get moving.

Just pick a direction.

Easier said than done. I mean, as I write this I am literally standing still waiting for the bus to arrive. So it’s not a very good illustration of me getting my life sorted out. I suppose it’s some consolation that I already know what bus I plan to take, and where I expect it to take me. At least I know that I will eventually make it home, I just need to be patient and wait for it to come. Maybe that’s true about a lot of things in life: that the hardest struggle is with the waiting in expectation.

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~ by Gwydhar Gebien on March 13, 2019.

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