Stacking Lemons

Maximum affinity of hue.

Stacking lemons is a futile gesture. I learned this the hard way: I’d pruned back the lemon tree in our backyard over the weekend and had brought a bag of the fruit of my labors into work to share around the office. The office kitchen is notorious for its paucity of bowls so I was trying to arrange the lemons into a heap on a plate and it was going just about as well as could be expected.

In the end I gave up and just put a few stragglers on the table beside the plate.

Life has been a lot of stacking lemons lately. My intentions are good, and I’m working hard to bring some kind of order and/or progress to my work and workspace and it’s going just about as well as can be expected. Plans keep falling through. My optimism is building up a layer of tarnish. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s just a slump and it won’t last, but then I look backwards at just how long this slump has been going on and I begin to wonder if I’m lying to myself. Often when I get frustrated like this I think of my novel and remind myself that frustration and struggle makes for the best story. But then I look at that same story and realize just how much more hell the character has to go through before coming out the other side victorious and I wonder if I have it in me. I think a part of me is afraid to write the next few chapters because I’m afraid I’m going to have to live them. They do say that you should write from experience after all.

Luckily for me, I still have an excuse to procrastinate: I’m doing a polish on a screenplay! It has a deadline! Oh darn, can’t work on the novel. I’ll just have to put these few stragglers aside for later.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on March 19, 2019.

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