Easter Weekend

Easter weekend went by in a blur of social activity. Friday was a short day at work and I drove home to spend the afternoon with the Curmudgeonly Lion before he went out for the evening with some old co-workers. I enjoyed having the house to myself, but utterly failed to do anything useful with my time.

On Saturday, I spent the morning puttering around the house and running errands around town: picking up dry cleaning, dropping off library books, baking brownies, doing laundry: generally going about the business of life until noon when I went to have lunch with a friend that ended up lasting all afternoon. We sat around the table talking about books and birthdays and telling one another’s fortunes with dice. It was gray and cold outside and it was easy to ignore the passage of time until I looked at my phone and realized I’d missed a text and three voicemails from the Curmudgeonly Lion who was stranded in Pasadena with a broken down car.

The electronic gods have not been favoring us lately: first my phone goes off the deep end, then the washing machine keeps turning itself on and off, an old computer burned out losing an entire hard drive of material that naturally was not backed up anywhere. Le sigh. Oh, and our backup NAS (Network Attached Storage, for the uninitiated) drive suddenly died. The hard drives were still ok, but all the filenames are gone so now there’s a cool sixty thousand files in no particular order that need to be sorted.

And now the car. Something to do with the computer that tells the car when to switch from battery to gas. On a holiday weekend, of course.

I drove out to pick the Curmudgeonly Lion up and we stopped for dinner at Souplantation on the way home as a low key date night before going out to a friend’s birthday party that went until I’m-No-Longer-Twenty-Three in the morning and we dragged ourselves home to go to bed.

I dragged myself out of bed with dry lipsand mossy teeth and wild hair that still smellrd like smoke from the bonfire and chlorine from the pool. I realized, belatedly, that Easter brunch with Bean & Co was scheduled for noon, not noon thirty, and apologetically messaged that we’d be late before plunging myself into the shower.

Brunch was as elegant and calm as one might expect with a high-energy, over-sugared, over-tired two year old, and a group of undercaffeinated adults. It was a blessed relief when the menfolk of all ages went down for a nap leaving Bean and me alone to chat for a pleasant hour or two.

Afterwards we headed home and I forced myself to do the reading for my writers group before lying down for a nap.

“How long do you want to sleep?” The Curmudgeonly Lion asked. I said about half an hour and he set an alarm, but when the half hour was up I continued to lie in bed- both unwilling a and unable to force myself to move. I lay there in a kind of twilight half-sleep for another thirty minutes before dragging myself upright to get out the door for a run.

Being a holiday, the writer’s group attendance dropped off throughout the day until it was too small of a group to be worth the meeting so I postponed the whole meeting to next weekend and finally got back to puttering around the house until dinner time; calling in for jury duty, calling home to talk to my folks, finishing the laundry, etc.

I realized afterwards, that I didn’t have any coffee all day, which probably explains why I crashed so hard at bedtime. And now it’s back to the regularly scheduled programming, although my brain still feels like it’s a million miles away from my work and my writing. I’m doing my best to muddle through, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

~ by Gwydhar Gebien on April 22, 2019.

3 Responses to “Easter Weekend”

  1. Sounds like a Mercury retrograde disaster weekend.

    And, I can tell from a few warning signs, this was the onset of not only your latest bout with depression but a potential overload of activity, considering the technical difficulties. In a way, it’s as if you were a train or bus, making several stops but running with a faulty engine which, if not treated, would eventually crash and be as much of a hindrance, maybe, as the lion with his broken-down car.

    Maybe all of these activities were nicely spaced out. But, reading them here, all at once, makes me imagine a very tight schedule. And, thinking back to my school days, when I tried to juggle a buffet of different classes and then still try to conceive juggling homework, attempts to socialize with other students outside of school, church and some kind of other educational or recreational routine at my own expense (and negotiating all of that with the over-protective and non-sympathetic parents I have been given). I was trying to drive my bus with a shift stick that wouldn’t move very well. If I didn’t lighten my load, somehow, I’d crash…and I did. I had a similar feeling at my first job, when I felt like I was being put through the paces just to be everyone’s joke for having a free will and conscience while everyone else just either conned their way up a ladder or slaved away for minimal pay and no concern for self-respect or individual thinking.

    Coffee, though so many think it’s the gasoline that keeps them going, is not mind and body fuel. It’s more like a spare tire that might help you get to the next gas station before a fill-up. Yet, so many turn to it and rely upon it to see them through a day or a tough situation…not unlike so many drugs. Do not depend upon coffee or blame not having any for not getting somewhere or something done. As much as I love chocolate, I cannot say not having some stopped me from doing something I needed to do…but thinking about it, letting craving get to me…did stop me. Isn’t that the lesson of Lent? To learn how to resist cravings and go without? To endure the desert. And, ideally, find a way to live with no crutches…fly without what we think is fuel and find our inner source of fuel.

    That’s no-coffee brain for ya. 😛 I mean, all my theories.

    • It certainly feels like some kind of emotional poltergeist messing with all our electronics. There’s a lot going on and usually I thrive in pressure, but usually I have a better sense of where I’m going and how to get there too. Le sigh.

      Yes I’m overdue for a caffeine detox- I don’t like relying on coffee to function properly, but then I don’t like sitting at a desk for eight hours staring at numbers all day- coffee just makes it possible to live up to the expectations of this modern world and without it I’m often foggy and testy.

      • It’s not an emotional poltergeist…though, I suspect our minds and emotions CAN affect electronics. I am saying it’s something in the heavens, among the planets affecting your electronics. That…and it’s possible some high-powered processing from some wealthier source is running over your area and messing with all the “lesser people.” These days, with so much wireless communication and radiation going on, it’s no wonder people get mentally and physically ill…it’s like an innocent version of nuclear power running through our air, and no one is really dealing with it any better than they do emissions or other forms of pollution and atmosphere erosion.

        Thrive on pressure? That sounds scary. I mean, I’ve had moments when an army of demands can bring out the warrior in me…but I wouldn’t want to live like that all the time or even a whole day. It’s like a roller coaster…it’s fun for an hour, but then I need to settle down and curl up like a cat in someone’s lap. A few hours later, I’ll be active, again, and go skulking for something to make me feel productive.

        And, maybe, you and I both need a strong grip on a schedule. I’m not the best planner or time divider. And, even though I didn’t always like jumping around school and trying to remember where I had to be every hour…I had a schedule and I followed it. If that’s all I had to think about, I might be fine. But, that’s never all.

        Maybe there’s an alternative to coffee that wouldn’t create the withdrawals and shake symptoms. Can you think of anything else that gives you the same…pleasure? and wouldn’t slow you down? And, if you are convinced coffee is the only way to “keep up with demands,” I am worried on so many levels.

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